how to open up to someone about depression

Much of the time, though, it's up to you. There are many great places you can start your journey to recovery. Sometimes people struggle to upon up with others because of mental health challenges that they’re dealing with. Couples in healthy relationships should feel safe to talk honestly about their depression or other struggles with mental illness. Being depressed and anxious can be a really lonely experience. Pornography – This is a sin of lust that can easily open a person up to having demonic influences and control. Make it a priority to actively speak about your symptoms and emotions. Dear you: an easy way to start talking about your depression "If I had a broken leg I know you'd make allowances for me and help in any way you could." Start by people you really trust and express your feelings as much as you can, don't push yourself too much. This article was co-authored by John A. Lundin, PsyD. 219830) and a registered company (no. Not at first. Do not say things like, "Why don't you practice rejecting or replacing negative thoughts?" A common misconception is that people with depression or anxiety can just ‘snap out of it’, or that depression and anxiety means a person is weak. If you're finding things hard emotionally right now, you're not alone. You might want to open the conversation by asking, "Can I talk to you? The Two Conditions. 2. We're here to provide information and support. I am telling you this not … Let them know you're there for them and ask what, specifically, you can do to help. While this is true, depression is different from normal sadness. Depression is often ‘invisible’ and many people are embarrassed to admit to it, so they cover it up completely or only confide in one or two others close to them. external page is a great way to learn how to recognize and respond to someone experiencing depression. For example, "Hey, you've seemed pretty down lately. Nonprofit organization dedicated to providing free, evidence-based mental health and wellness resources. Start by people you really trust and express your feelings as much as you can, don't push yourself too much. I felt like a black sheep, constantly pushed aside and unable to understand why I was feeling so low. You should also avoid telling them to change their mentality. Especially if it’s taken courage for the person to open up about how they’re feeling. “When you’re … You need to be ready for this. I had been quietly dealing with it from about the age of 14, and it wasn’t until I was 19 that I truly spoke it out loud. People with depression and anxiety may also struggle with opening up on a deeper level with people. I have started taking medications and have been talking to professionals. Learning to be a good listener. Once you can understand depression’s symptoms, course and consequences, you can better support your loved one, Serani said. He received his Doctorate in Clinical Psychology from the Wright Institute, and he practices in San Francisco and Oakland in California's Bay Area. Sometimes, just thinking about the things you should do to feel better, like exercising or spending time with friends, can seem exhausting or impossible to put into action. People with depression may often feel they are the source of difficulty (cancelling plans, needing to be in a quiet space). It’s easier to talk to a stranger. I was diagnosed as having depression and started, slowly, a series of treatments and techniques to get myself well. Take responsibility for your own part. Get on a better sleep schedule by learning healthy sleep habits. … Don’t: Give up. Something along the lines of: “Hey, there’s something I’d like to talk to you about. The best way to get over a fear of something is to start building some positive experiences. Deficiencies in B vitamins such as folic acid and B-12 can trigger depression. Start slow and build up your courage from there. Boost your mood with foods rich in omega-3 fatty acids. This can easily come off as condescending. 1 cup steel cut oats. It's used in many, many ways. If you ask someone if they want to talk, and they provide brief, curt answers, this is a good sign they are not ready. Give verbal cues as well, by saying things like, "Yeah" and "Uh-huh. I am better able to cope now that I have recognised this isn’t something to be ashamed of. I just wanted to check in.". The fact is, there’s no … For example, do not ask them if they've tried something like a specific exercise routine or a certain medication. I know from my personal experience that it can be incredibly difficult to start talking about your problems. I’m really sorry you’re going through this. Let your friend know you’re there for them. A man living with depression reveals why he doesn't open up to loved ones about his struggle. For example, avoid phrases like, "Everyone feels down sometimes." Be open about depression. "The best things that friends and family can do is simply listen. He then … We're a charity and we couldn't continue our work without your help. Use apps such as Calm Harm, text The Mix and contact the NHS if you have seriously injured yourself. I’m not going to pretend that just going to a couple of counselling sessions cured me, but very slowly I was able to start seeing a change in myself. This was the best decision I have ever made to help myself. My sister is about to graduate this summer. All people are, of course, different from each other, and the symptoms and coping abilities of people with depression also differ. Lead by example. And it can be a good way to tell if said partner is potentially long-term material. Tips, guidance and blogs to support your organisation. Mind Infoline is closed right now, for support visit our out of hours page. Start with small steps and by opening up in small ways with people you already know are trustworthy (if this is possible), this will help you build some positive experiences and help to … John Lundin, Psy. In a lot of ways I was lucky, where so many people like me aren’t. Sometimes the most important thing is having supportive people around or checking in. Like cancer, diabetes, or other health problems, depression can happen to anyone. For example, say, "I understand this may be hard to believe now, but I know you'll feel better someday. Talking about depression with someone you love can be difficult. Firstly, there needs to be an acceptance that depression is a part of your life for now. The key to self-treatment for depression is to be open, accepting, and loving toward yourself and what you’re going through. ... By Heidi Fischer. ", Start off by saying something like, "What can I do for you? If someone you love is depressed, you probably want to help. At first, I was terrified about the prospect of telling a new boss that I was struggling with depression and anxiety. when you think someone deserves to hear about you tell them the small things. This could include things like an eating disorder, bipolar disorder, or other personality disorder. People with hidden depression struggle fiercely with keeping it hidden. Try to be open about depression and difficult emotions, so your friend or family member knows that it's OK to talk about what they're experiencing. Log In Join Us. If someone responds with doubt or disbelief, it may make them feel like talking about their depression is not safe. An allowing of your depression to be there. George blogs about how he came to understand his girlfriend's depression. I would frequently find myself silent and in the foetal position when things were tough and not going my way. 1. Keep in mind that it doesn’t have to be an intense conversation that you dread starting. Ask if you can help, but emphasise the importance of getting professional help. Instead of telling the person to perk up, acknowledge their issues are real and validate their feelings. Blogs and stories can show that people with mental health problems are cared about, understood and listened to. Before the conversation, I read up on a … ", For example, someone says, "I feel like I'm failing at everything right now. If your friend feels like talking, ask them how they’re going. wikiHow is where trusted research and expert knowledge come together. Some, and this is a short list, are: avoid negative people; don’t rely on your memory - write it down; make duplicate keys; say no more often; simplify meal time; always make copes of important papers; ask for help with jobs you don’t like; break large tasks into bite size portions; smile; pet your dog/cat; don’t know all the answers; say something nice to someone; say hello to a stranger; ask a friend for a hug; practice … It can be as direct and open or as indirect as you want. By using our site, you agree to our. Even if they're trying their best to push you away (common for people with depression to … Instead, it’s helpful to keep things casual – go for a walk, grab a coffee, or chat with someone while working. Why can’t people open up? One of the many tragedies of depression is that it makes people feel isolated and alone. You could start the conversation by asking questions such as: ‘It seems like things have been hard for you lately. Dr. Lundin specializes in treating anxiety and mood issues in people of all ages. Own up to it for yourself. By sharing my problems I was really able to ensure that my depression didn’t get the better of me. Over the years, you've probably heard others say "open up." When you’re living with a mental health problem, or supporting someone who is, access to the right information is vital. There are many paradoxes with depression that don’t make sense on the surface. We use cookies to make wikiHow great. "It was after a particularly difficult Christmas, which I spent avoiding members of my family and being huddled in a corner as much as possible, that my mum encouraged me to go to the doctor about how I was feeling.". as you learn to trust them then move up to the bigger things. Lots of people can find it hard to open up and speak about how they're feeling. Because you have your own problems, and your own life to live. “Things to say include, ‘I want to know what you’re going through,’ ‘What can I do to help you feel … The more I opened up in counselling, the less of a burden I felt on my shoulders. Other people may feel generally miserable or unhappy without knowing why. There are two vital conditions for the advice I share in the following paragraphs: 1. Depression is a serious mental health issue. This is a treatable illness that should never hinder anyone’s paths to happiness or success. Shortly after my diagnosis I found myself in my first counselling session. I promise. An allowing of your depression to be there. 2. A man living with depression reveals why he doesn't open up to loved ones about his struggle. Someone with depression will have both good and bad days. If you’re in therapy, talk with him or her about what you plan on doing and … However, I believe that it was by opening myself up that I was able to identify some of the things that triggered my illness. Depression is a common and serious mental health condition that can often take its toll on relationships. Talk with your therapist. I felt that I shouldn’t feel the way I did, I was from a loving home and had a great upbringing – mental illness isn’t something I should have. Telling someone new about your depression can feel like a boulder being lifted off your shoulders. I’m here for you if you need me. For someone who suffers with depression, it’s hard to open up to a loved one and tell them what they’re struggling with. In celebrating this achievement with her it has given me some time to reflect on my own time at university. Avoid dismissing the depression. If you take medication, take it as prescribed by your physician. They might show less interest in the things they used to enjoy, and might not always feel like going out – but if they do feel up to hanging out with you, then try and spend time with them by doing things you both used to enjoy. In fact, it can be downright ugly. Having someone like him share his story of depression signals to … I used talking therapy to help me to figure out why I was feeling the way that I was. Understand though, it might not be you. It might be someone in your whānau, a team-mate or someone from your community. Garry shares with us what he would write if he were to send a letter to his depression. Major depression is a mood disorder that causes someone to feel persistently sad for a long time (at least two weeks), and of the many symptoms, the most common signs you’ll recognize in friends are their being less social or less interested in things they usually like to do. If you say you can help with something, make sure you actually provide the help you offered. "If I had a broken leg I know you'd make allowances for me and help in any way you could." If you are isolated with people you aren’t close to during Coronavirus isolation, The Mix has a message, phone and online helpline, and discussion boards dedicated to self-harm. We won't give up until everyone experiencing a mental health problem gets support and respect. For example, "I hear that you're feeling very tired lately all the time, and that's very frustrating for you.". It can help them feel less alone in their suffering. It can start with a simple text message. Thanks to all authors for creating a page that has been read 10,330 times. There are 13 references cited in this article, which can be found at the bottom of the page. People with depression and anxiety are more likely to get through with help and support (tautoko) than on their own. Becoming open also means becoming open to what others are saying and sharing about themselves. Dealing with depression requires action, but taking action when youre depressed can be hard. This is why they need your support the most when they're at their worst. As bad as things get, do not lighten up your support. In some ways I think it is much easier to open yourself up to someone that you don’t know, apart from in this counselling capacity. If you have depression, opening up to the people in your life about the condition can be healing. It can be hard to address depression, as the subject can be sensitive. Tips For When You Choose To Open Up About Your Depression. With depression it is counterproductive to keep pretending to be okay. Aim for eight hours of sleep. Most people would like to be more open than they are right now. Try to be open to what that person is sharing about their feelings. If a depressed person does not seem like they want to … “Give them a way to help you. Instead, say something like, "I know depression has to be very difficult. Here’s a depression meal for y’all. For example, say, "Until then, I'm here whenever you need me. When a person is supporting a partner with depression, it is … If you're like most people, you probably wish your parent would start the conversation. Often a person with depression cannot control what they are sad about. Follow up with something like, "I know you haven't been keeping up with chores. But how to open up the convo? I'm so mad at myself." I believe that you can get through this and I'll be there to help. It feels like I want to talk about it but at the same time i'm worried that dropping a "hey i have depression btw" on someone is just going to push that person away even if they've explicitly stated that they are willing to talk to me about this sort of thing. % of people told us that this article helped them. Secondly, allow yourself the time needed to get through this; it does take time. Remember that depression is a real mental health condition and that your loved one needs medical care. Together we’re Mind in Wales. Be open and welcoming, and listen. Because it might change the way you see me. Safe person: How to respond when people open up to you April 29, 2016 by Julie Ganschow Most people like to help others and that is a good thing, because we are surrounded by hurting people … What do you say to someone who is struggling? We're taking the nation's craftiest fundraiser online. Taking a Mental Health First Aid class external. There are lots of different ways that you can support us. I remember the first time I truly opened up to someone about the depression I often felt. © 2021 Mind We're a registered charity in England (no. Remember that if they care about you they won't judge you or make you uncomfortable so believe in yourself and that you can do it. People with depression are often hesitant to open up, so gently encourage the person to talk. The good news is that there are things you can do to help. ", After stating as much, remind them you'll see it through with them. Try to be open about depression and difficult emotions, so your friend or family member knows that it's OK to talk about what they're experiencing. Many people stop taking prescription medications after a week because they do not notice an improvement. It isn’t uncommon for people, particularly men, suffering from mental health problems to bottle up how they are feeling. I have always hated talking to people about my depression. I can talk about my illness like an illness without a constant feeling of shame hanging over me. However, it was also turning point year for me. I know that if I hadn't started talking about my problems then I might not be here today. Remember that if they care about you they won't judge you or make you uncomfortable so believe in yourself and that you can do it. the idea of her daughter having depression is just unfathomable to her (ironic because she works in a rehab center). It’s also important to follow-up. When did you start experiencing these feelings? The conversation doesn’t have to be perfect. Be proactive by getting yourself centered, grounded, and open, with a willingness to listen deeply to your partner’s spoken words—and underlying feelings. Depression isn't pretty. Sometimes a parent will ask what's wrong. It can be hard to know what to say to a depressed or anxious friend. Listen to them. It is a relationship you wouldn’t be able to have with anyone you know already and I found myself discussing thoughts that I had pushed so far to the back of my mind, I didn’t even know I had them. It's more complicated and chronic. Start slow and build up your courage from there. ... Open up to someone. What was always reassuring with my talking therapy was that it felt like that load was being shared, I felt I was being supported. To someone experiencing depression, unsolicited advice can be a significant setback deepening a sense of isolation and increasing the feeling of being misunderstood. ... gone. I'm really sorry you're experiencing it. Even when you want to be supportive, you may not be sure of the best way to approach a friend or family member about depression or what to say when you start a conversation. But it isn’t always easy, especially when that … Respond with, "I know it feels that way, but I think you're amazing. Keep in mind that they might say no, and it is important for your to honor their decision. Aim to show empathy for the person rather than sympathy. Sam (@SamSCBailey) shares his experience of depression. For someone who doesn’t understand what depression looks like, this behavior can hurt. Because you might go the opposite route and decide it’s time for some “tough love.”. It shocked me the first time that I heard the biggest killer of men aged 18-30 (the age group I am in) was suicide. If you, or someone you know, suffers from depression or any other mental illness, encourage them to get help and start voicing their concerns. Letting the Person Know You're There 1. Sometimes people are reluctant to talk about what they’re struggling with for fear of negative consequences (stigma is still very much alive in our world today).Other times, people don’t quite know how to put words to what they’re experiencing. But it can hit anyone. Just because someone who is depressed tries to cover it up, it doesn't mean they want to be dismissed when they do choose to open up about how they really feel. Open your heart, open your mind. Opening up to people can be hard, i've done it so many times and ive gotten hurt, but when i did it with other people, i got lasting friendships out of it. Where and when you start a conversation is not as important as starting it in the first place. It takes courage to speak openly about the pain they feel. Together with our 20 local Minds in Wales we’re committed to improving mental health in this country. Nine times out ten, people struggling with depression just need to know that if they want to talk, they can. Encourage the person to lead a healthier, mood-boosting lifestyle by doing it yourself: maintain a positive outlook, eat better, avoid alcohol and drugs, exercise, and lean on others for support. {"smallUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/7\/74\/Speak-Supportively-to-Someone-with-Depression-Step-2.jpg\/v4-460px-Speak-Supportively-to-Someone-with-Depression-Step-2.jpg","bigUrl":"\/images\/thumb\/7\/74\/Speak-Supportively-to-Someone-with-Depression-Step-2.jpg\/aid8479321-v4-728px-Speak-Supportively-to-Someone-with-Depression-Step-2.jpg","smallWidth":460,"smallHeight":345,"bigWidth":728,"bigHeight":546,"licensing":"